Friday, July 8, 2016

Sad State...

I have been trying to figure out the right words to say, and how to put it all down on paper.  The past 3 days of news has been devastating; actually the past few years of news has been devastating. We have allowed so much hate to just poor from our veins. This "race war" is worse then it has been in years. Obama, his administration and the media have been feeding this hype. We live in a world where there is black and white, straight and gay. We have segregated ourselves to the point that if you have a different view you hate the opposite, you support the police then you must hate the blacks. It is truly disturbing.

I will continue to raise my children to love others, to honor God and to respect authority. With that being said I do not agree with police brutality. I will however not clump all officers together as we should not clump all whites, blacks gay, straight ect. together. We are all individuals and we all have different points of views. Yes I am a white, straight, christian women I am a wife and mother. That does not mean all people who fall into those same categories agree with me on everything or share the same point of view.  So why should we pretend that that is how it is? Why should we say that just because I am not black I don't sympathize with their struggles? The color of you skin does not make you less or more important neither does your gender or sexual orientation. God loves each and everyone of us no matter what.

With all that being said I think it is important to really take a look at the facts. These numbers come from a website called the counted; they keep track of how many people have been killed by the police. They do a great job with breaking it down but sadly most people will just go to the site and see that 566 people so far this year have been killed by the hands of an officer. There is so much more to it, so here it is. Seeing how we are in a race war and are up in arms about how many black people have been killed, I will end each section with the comparison between whites and blacks.

Lets first start with unarmed deaths.
Unarmed White - 42 people
Unarmed African American - 24 People
Unarmed Hispanic/Latino - 14 People
Unarmed Native American - 2 people
82 Unarmed people killed by the hands of an officer. Most of them are domestic shootings that took place with an off duty officer and his family.
Of this 82 52 were gunshots 10 death by taser 9 struck by vehicle 11 death in custody
As you can see that is 18 MORE Whites then Blacks

Now lets look at the Armed suspects
Armed White - 212
Armed African American- 101
Armed Hispanic/Latino - 65
Armed Asian - 13
Armed Native American - 10
Armed Unknown - 28
429 armed assailants.
Of the 429 424 were killed by firearm, 2 taser, 1 struck by vehicle and 2 death in custody.

There are 55 people unaccounted for as they are either listed as other, undetermined or disputed on the weapon.

On the website it also has a chart that breaks it all up by ethnicity and here is what you will find there
Overall that is 566 people who have been died by the hand of an officer. 13 Hispanic/Latino 136 Black, 88 hispanic, 279 White, 10 Asian and 40 other/unknown. That is 143 MORE Whites killed then Blacks. If you do it per million (there are more whites in the country then blacks). So per million 3.4 Native Americans 3.23 Blacks, 1.59 hispanics, 1.41 whites, 0.56 asians.

So is this really a race issue? Or is just simply a media issue? Or is it more then that? Is it the need to make this into something? I am not saying that what is happening isn't wrong, but it is wrong all across the board not just in one demographic area. The american people are pointing fingers at the officers saying they are ALL racists, and they are out to kill the blacks. I am not going to sit here and say that there aren't racists cops or jumpy cops. But to group them all together is not fair. THEN to kill 5 officers in Dallas Texas, for what?!?

Now to see how many police officers have made the ultimate sacrifice. 58 officers have been killed in the line of duty. Yes this number is not as high but they are going into dangerous situations and when you have someone waving a gun at you you have to think about your life and the life of those around you first.

The number of people who have been killed by a fellow citizen are as follows 8,722 homicides and rising! Do you see the problem here?

I think we all need to take a step back, stop jumping to conclusions and really just pray. Stop blaming, stop taking what you see and pointing your perfect little finger at someone. Yes you can watch these horrific videos and do your best to figure out what happened; but remember these are just a glimpse of what is really going on. We don't know exactly what is being said, or what actions are taking place in the scuffle. We can be sympathetic, and be heart broken that someones life was taken and we witnessed it happen (I for one will never get used to that nor do I want to witness it again). I think the biggest thing is to stop, think, process, pray and react. We are aloud to react and have emotion, we are aloud to be mad and demand that these things stop. But we can not judge the actions of those in that 30 second clip as we don't know what happened before or after the camera stopped rolling.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the families of  Philander Castile, Alton Sterling and all the 564 others who have lost their lives this year as well as all the officers and their families involved with these killings, as they have to live with this for the rest of their lives. I also pray for Brent Thompson,  Patrick Zamarripa, Omar Cannon, Misty McBride and Jesus Retana and the o53 other officers who have lost their lives in the line of duty. I pray for the 49 precious people who were killed by an islamic extremists in Orlando as well as all the others who have lost their life by the hands of another. A life lost is tragic no matter what.

I sit here with tears in my eyes thinking about this world I have brought my babies into. I pray that with them and through them and others like them we can fix this world with God in control leading the way. Please join me in prayer. Pray for people to see that the actions they are taking are not the right ones, that we need to really learn to respect each other no matter what. 

Thats all I got.... God bless






Tuesday, February 2, 2016

The loss of a loved one

It is becoming a January trend that I hope has come to an end. Last year when I came home from ShmooCon I found out a dear friend was losing his battle with addiction and passed away the next day. This year I found out that my best friends mother had passed away and then a week later my grandmother passed away. I am pretty sure the January curse needs to STOP! So much heart ache and pain has been surrounding this month that I am not sure how we have managed to pull ourselves together. Please keep all of these amazing people and families in your thoughts and prayers

A little about my grandma... Her name was Ila Marie Likley and my grandfather called her Tutee growing up I called her Nonni. I will not lie about the fact that I was not very close to my grandma growing up, we didn't spend much time together and really just didn't  click. It wasn't until my daughter was born almost 7years ago did all this change. My grandma became so much more to me then my dads mom, and my grandma. She became a great grandma, and best of all my friend. We shared stories, and tips. We laughed and cried together. We learned to forgive each other and truly love each other with every ounce of our beings. We really talked about everything, it was no holds bar. We talked about her husband often; he passed away when I was a very young girl. She told me of all the good times they had together. I learned so much about the home we often visited growing up but never really connected with. The blood sweat and tears that went into building their home. The first time they brought their daughter home from the hospital and how then she said her house become a home. The story of my twin uncles and how she had no idea their were two of them. The craziness that soon followed after they were born. The day she found out she was pregnant with my dad and how she new he would round out their little family. The dance parties they had in the basement of their home. The long weeks when my grandpa was out on the road and she was home with the kids. Stories about the kids and the stuff they did growing up. Stories about some of the furniture in her home and where it came from and what it meant to her. But I think my favorite moment was when we were talking about our favorite Christmas presents; she said maybe not my favorite but my most rememberable would have to be an orange. My kiddos were in the room when she said that and they laughed at how silly it was. I told them come an listen to her tell you why it meant so much. The listen intently at her amazing story about the depression and how an orange was so expensive at that time, how her father made sure they got this hard to find, expensive delicious orange in her stocking on christmas day. This story made a huge impact on my kids and this year we started the tradition of an orange in their stocking. It was so cute to see their faces on christmas morning and then tell their Great Grandma all about it, was truly a heart warming experience.

My grandma became my friend. Someone I could sit and hold hands with and talk with for hours. She was someone who truly made a huge impact on my life and was a driving force behind many of my decisions. I shared with her heart ache, pain, loss, fear, the hurt I felt growing up, and we shared moments of healing together. I am beyond blessed to call Ila Likley not only my grandma but my friend. I will always miss her and life will not be the same without her, but I promise to always care her in my heart and to continue to talk about her with my kids. She will always be a lasting memory in our household.

The Saturday before she passed we talked about our house hunting. I told her of a home I really loved and how we were hoping to see it soon and if all goes well we would put an offer on the house. She asked me if it was a ranch (If you new my grandma you would understand why she asked that) I told her no it wasn't. Her response was "Jennica you will have to move again". I laughed and smiled. She then said I really hope you get it. Wednesday she passed away and Thursday we had scheduled to go see the house. So we went, as I knew my grandma would want me to. We fell in love with this home and we both knew it was the home for us. Friday we put in an offer and Saturday we set off to Ohio to be at my grandmas viewing. Saturday night I was sitting around the table with my family when I got a phone call. WE GOT THE HOUSE!  I can't help but think my grandma had a hand in all of this and was with us through out the process. We can not wait to move forward with our lives and move into the new home. She will defiantly be a huge part of our new home as we feel she had a hand in it all.

I miss my grandma so much and wish I could run to her side and tell her that we got the house! However I know she already knows and is celebrating with my other grandparents. I have and army of angels looking over me know. =)

Life doesn't always go as we plan and sometimes (well always) we have to give it up to God. We ask why? Why did so and so pass away? Why are we here? Why can't we just move on? Why now?! I have been reeling with these questions the past couple of weeks. The answer is no where to be found but in the trust of God. I will never know why my grandma passed away when she did. I will never understand why my other grandparents died so young. I will never understand why I have lost so many friends over the years. But I have learned to trust in God. It has worked for me so far.

RIP Janice Reffo 1/18/16
RIP Ila Likley 1/27/16
You are both loved and missed dearly